She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize