no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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