She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize