I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
