Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize