You really coming over, don't trick.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
