I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
