I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize