But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize