Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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