from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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