Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
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Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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