i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
She even gives head with a lisp.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
