She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize