His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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