I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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