It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
