I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
