So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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