the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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