He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
