found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
