Already got asked if we're dating
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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