I love black thongs
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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