the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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