Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
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Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
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Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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