"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Randomize
