Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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