Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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