hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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