That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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