I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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