Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Houston, we have a squirter
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
