My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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