____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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