Whatcha textin bout Willis?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
