Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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