I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
