So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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