After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
well you can't waste a boner
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
