But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
