there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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