We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
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