I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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