Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
