...so i touched it.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
