Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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