so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
