I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
