I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
