hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize