i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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