9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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