i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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