My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
