He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
