Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
