My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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